And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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