Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize