The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
