I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
