how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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