the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
