so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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