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• (646): View more from New York

  ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!

  (812): View more from Indiana

  ?

  (646): View more from New York

  Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did it work?

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  But your showmanship is impeccable.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.

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• (949): View more from California

  There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night

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