So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
