Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
