so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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