ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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