I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
