She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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