btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
