Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
