porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
