I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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