"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
