That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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