Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
