I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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