You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
