If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
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Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
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tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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