Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
