I cockslap morals
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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