Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
