He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
