Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
