Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
