Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
