Need sex. Gaining weight.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
