I wish I could teleport
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
