She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
