Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
