five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
