people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
