my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
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She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
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I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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