We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
