Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
