True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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