they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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