Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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