I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so that wasnt chicken after all
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize