Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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