You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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