butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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