with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
