Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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