I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize