You're my little dorito
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
