Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
