It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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