he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize