I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize