4 words: hood of his car
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize