how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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