Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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