I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think pants incapable of making pants work
it's unicorns you uncultured swine