Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
