Texts From Last Night

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  (559): View more from California

  Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.

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  (559): Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster. http://tfl.nu/p7ub
  Replies (109) Good night (13208) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  safety first

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  (763): she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle (612): safety first http://tfl.nu/lbuo
  Replies (32) Good night (5467) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.

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  (806): Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting. http://tfl.nu/3kvl
  Replies (26) Good night (1006) Bad night (5367)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.

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  (951): All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants. http://tfl.nu/xx9d
  Replies (17) Good night (7971) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this

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  (408): He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this http://tfl.nu/m93u
  Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (3744)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.

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  (586): She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes. http://tfl.nu/cn93
  Replies (3) Good night (794) Bad night (4134)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.

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  (314): Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning. http://tfl.nu/u08e
  Replies (7) Good night (3354) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.

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  (570): Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it. http://tfl.nu/ahvg
  Replies (7) Good night (2956) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity

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  (215): Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity http://tfl.nu/eokb
  Replies (5) Good night (1913) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.

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  (+44): I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage. http://tfl.nu/0e7q
  Replies (7) Good night (2827) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  how bad is she

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  captain morgan with tits

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  (484): how bad is she (215): captain morgan with tits http://tfl.nu/5qnj
  Replies (7) Good night (952) Bad night (1955)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.

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  (914): I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now. http://tfl.nu/2zl0
  Replies (5) Good night (2115) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?

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  (561): I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line? http://tfl.nu/0ivn
  Replies (10) Good night (850) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night

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  (717): I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night http://tfl.nu/a1cb
  Replies (1) Good night (314) Bad night (206)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive

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  (775): I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive http://tfl.nu/xzuf
  Replies (0) Good night (262) Bad night (508)

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