Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.

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(850): View more from Florida

"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?

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(425): View more from Washington

Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.

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(347): View more from New York

Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!

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(256): View more from Alabama

Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.

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