You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.