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• (727): View more from Florida

  My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I think college has really matured you.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag

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• (425): View more from Washington

  couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (949): View more from California

  He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.

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• (818): View more from California

  Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face

  (1-312): View more from Illinois

  he seemed brazillian..

  (312): View more from Illinois

  fuck.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything

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