If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.